I am reading an amazing, life changing book. I am sharing this book with some pretty spectacular ladies who have life views that I love hearing. I feel like my cup is filled everytime we meet. It is almost like a drug for me. I can't wait to be filled again with their presence and with our discussions.
The book we are reading is Shame off You by Alan D Wright. Our discussion this week was on the chapter The Agony of Victory. What? I saw that title and it immediately intrigued me. The Agony of Victory? I don't get it. But as I read on I found myself marking up my book and making HUGE revelations about my own life.
I can't tell you how many times in my life I have had a major accomplishment, and the only thing I have felt is "So,What's next?" or "Why me?" or "I don't deserve this". This is a pattern in my life. I was unaware of it until Wednesday.
A discussion that has been present in my marriage since I started staying home 11 years ago has been my feelings of inadequacy. I mean somebody in the great beyond(Thank you God and I mean GOD!) chose me to parent these three amazing children. And instead of reveling in that fact and savoring the moments, I complained. I never saw accomplishments anymore in my life. I did laundry, I cleaned, I organized only to have it all thrown away 10 minutes later. WHY? When I worked, I set out to do a project only to see it completed and neatly filed away or graded since my job was teacher. On Wednesday I FINALLY(did I mention 11 YEARS????)figured it out. Life IS a journey. It is not about the destination so I have to live this life and by LIVING this life I mean being present in each and every moment. Showing my children how to live lives based on Christ like principles. I need to fill their cups and mine. Yes there will still be laundry and schedules and activities and outside demands but all of those become less important when looking at the big picture. The ACCOMPLISHMENT is in the day to day. How I live my life is a reflection into my children's lives and ultimately THEIR journey.
I know I have mentioned this book to several of you and I am serious when I say that EVERYONE that I know and love should read it. It has been life changing and wonderful. I wish I could personally thank Alan Wright for this gift to me.
Friday, September 25, 2009
My Epiphany
Posted by Heather at 7:01 AM
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5 comments:
I love what you wrote, Heather! I often ponder how my kids "see" me. I usually do this right after i've had a horrible day and been moody and unattentive! I definitely need to read that book. I love what you wrote, and I love your soul!!
That's great, Heather! OMG I was going to say something profound and then Brinn took a marker just now and drew all over her freaking arm.
I need an epiphany.
I often tell Denny the same thing...that I don't contribute enough to the family. I mostly mean financially though. The "work" I do isn't enough. Maybe it's time I quit having that attitude and start living each day with the attitude that I AM contributing. :) Thanks for sharing my dear friend.
Heather, I was at the used book store when I texted you this weekend but had left before I got your response. I am going to get this book! I need to add it to my Goodreads list.
Heather, I still struggle with this although I am better than I was years ago when I first started staying home. But I had a "moment" yesterday because the house was trashed and I wondered why in the world I even bother.
I would love to do a study or create one on Ecclesiates and learning to be content.
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